I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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