Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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