Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
