A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
