I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize