some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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