I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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