Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
