Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
