We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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