just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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