So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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