i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
