): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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