i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
