that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
