whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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