yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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