Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
