Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
