chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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