Moan for me like Helen Keller
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
