Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
