she was so not down for the gang bang
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
