Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
