her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
