i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
