$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Two words: nipple clamps
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