New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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