You really coming over, don't trick.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize