The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
