..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
