Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
