those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
