hotel room ftw
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
