Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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