Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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