Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Two words: blizzard sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
