That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
