I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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