i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize