I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i out mim tonsoeep
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