Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
