I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
