I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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