It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
