After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
