planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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