are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
