When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
