What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
