That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
