evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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