I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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