OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
