Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
