Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
