Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
