TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
