"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
