in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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