And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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