you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
